too-tired-to-do-anything mood

I am so done with taking the train from Metro Park to New York Penn, and vice versa.

Post Sandy recovery is happening along some of NJ Transit’s routes, and my town’s station is by one of the affected path lines. It’s an annoying hassle because I have to take the train at Metro Park to New York Penn. Other people from other towns take the trains from there too; so once the train arrives, there’s a mass attack to claim empty seats. My Dad and I stand in the middle of the aisle sometimes, but we’ve been lucky to get seats once or twice. Normally, I sleep on the train; but with all the people and the train’s sudden braking, I haven’t been able to close my eyes at all – I’m a little paranoid I’ll wake up and see that my bag’s gone.

Friday night at New York Penn Station.

We only had three days of school this week, but they were hell on earth for me. Most of my negative and drained feelings came from commuting, since I’m not used to crowds of people pushing me out of the way or bumping into me – is it so hard to say “excuse me”? Not to be extremely pissed or anything, but a person will not die within the next five seconds to say two little polite words. It feels like everyone has become brutalized with animal instincts or something, ugh. I’ve had so many people hit my back and shoulder so many times my shoulder and back are actually sore and I’m tired beyond belief. Throw in late (or early morning) nights of catching up on – assignments and readings … well, I’m screwed and becoming more stupid from the minute.

Anyhoo, it’s a Sunday and I shouldn’t be extending these pessimistic rays to you. The commuting to and from school part every day sucked, but it was heartwarming and relieving to see friends and familiar faces safe and in one piece. Natural disasters bring out a plethora of fuzzy feelings inside of me (and I’m pretty sure it happens to everyone else).

photos of Nov.7-9

The one thing I’m glad about Sandy though, is that she gave me free time to do things I normally wouldn’t have time to do during school. No power and internet didn’t let me complete the schoolwork I had, so it gave me time to play Scrabble with the fam, clean my room, read books, and most importantly: sew Wilma Buttercup Cuddlebuns up.

Wilma Buttercup Cuddlebuns is the self-stuffed teddy bear created during Pace’s Oktoberfest (I think it happened two weeks ago before Sandy’s arrival). I had promised to give her to Apoorva once I had sewed her tummy up (since the tummy was where the white fluff was inserted), but the weeks passed by and I didn’t have the time to even look at Wilma. Either way, with Sandy’s half pointless but half useful gift of time, I sewed Wilma’s tummy up; and to personalize her, I even found pink ribbon and a heart charm to tie around Wilma’s neck. I gave Wilma to Apoorva the first day we got back; and I know she really loved Wilma as well from the ecstatic expression on her face and the way she couldn’t stop saying “She is so adorable!!!” (see first row, first photo, top left corner).

A crazy thing which also happened the first day we got was it SNOWED. First snowfall of the year BOO-YEEEAAAH, and Apoorva and I went outside for it just in time (first row, second photo, middle). It was incredibly cold, and all our stuff got wet since we threw it on a nearby table then stood in the middle of the courtyard – but it was still breathtaking. The moment was even more special for Apoorva since it was her first snowfall in her whole entire life, and she ran around like a little kid hyper and non-stop smiling.

Thursday morning was another terrible commute, so I decided to treat myself and my Dad to coffee and baked goodies at R&R coffee. Right across Lot Less’ corner, R & R is a small coffee haven in the wall that should be stumbled upon. Walking into the store, a person is greeted by modern, minimalistic interior with sleek counters and hand written,color-chalk boards listing coffee choices. There’s not much room to sit in front (unless you come solo), but there are more seats in the back. ¬†Incidentally, the staff and baristas permeate a more friendly and genuine vibe than Starbucks employees; it’s also a bit impressive to see that they use Ipads instead of traditional cashiers. And free WiFi is always an awesome perk too :) If I had known that classes before 11 were going to be cancelled that day, I would have stayed there to study and start my paper. But I was still in a pretty good mood going to school, thanks to the coffee art on my Dad’s latte caramel macchiato (first row, third photo, top right corner), and from my spinach turnover and chocolate frapp (second row, first photo).

Friday was my “brownie goop” day. I dub it brownie goop day because I was so tired and feeling lazy, I felt like a brownie – all sludge and immovable. I could barely stay awake on the train and during my afternoon African Art History class. When I got to school I went to the library to do some research work, then went to the Cafe to meet Apoorva. We got breakfast together, and I tried an egg and cheese bagel sandwich for the first time (second row, middle photo). It was godly – breakfast food For The Win! After that, we went for a walk around Chinatown (where we got mini honey cakes – second row, last photo on the right) and City Hall. It was another first for me to walk under the City Hall building archways, and get lost in the beauty of metropolitan architecture (third row, first and second pics).

So on Saturday, since I was still feeling tired and stressed from last week, as another treat I bought a mini Hello Kitty Beanie Ballz at Shoprite (third row, last photo)! She fits into the palm of my hand, and I can’t stop staring at her at her corner of my desk. So adorably cute, gah. Hello Kitty’s look literally kills, hahaha. Plus looking at her reminds me how I saw one of my favorite people from Cardinal McCarrick – Mrs. Egan, the librarian! I didn’t even see her until my brother ran to me and told me where she was. We weren’t able to catch up in detail, but I’ll be visiting CMHS in December so I’ll see her again then.

I miss home. And the people from there. But lately I’ve been feeling really distant from everyone there, and I don’t feel connected anymore. The town that I currently live in isn’t homey for me either, but I’m getting used to living here so I don’t know what that entails. I want to go back and visit Vancouver, but I don’t really know what awaits me there anymore. I have my favorite hang out spots and places I want to visit again, but I don’t know how I feel friendship wise. I Skyped with one of my friends last week, and she was telling me how she and one of our other friends we were close to weren’t so close anymore since a few things happened that affected their friendship. I can’t help but think that maybe (or most likely) the same thing is happening to me but I’m too slow to realize it. Or if I’m just being insecure over things. I don’t know whether or not this is a phase, or if it’s going to stay this way – so I guess time’ll tell.”The scariest thing about distance is that you don’t know whether they’ll miss you or forget you.” – Nicholas Sparks

Despite tourist crowds, the Brooklyn Bridge is still one of my favorite places to mull over thoughts.

Time to go and do other homework now, since I procrastinated yesterday away. I’ll leave you with a cute farewell-for-now from Lucky, my Best Friend For Awesomeness’ doggy:

He is very pleased to meet you!

Till next time lovelies!

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