It’s raining here in South Amboy and it’s reminding me of Vancouver – how the streets would look new and clean after a horrendous downpour, how the grass would look as if it were freshly planted the night before, how the flowers in my neighbor’s garden would drip with tiny inklings of water, and how it rained for 3/4 of the year and you couldn’t get sick of it – it just becomes an integral part of Life’s routine. I’m sitting on the floor of the living room and around me, through the hollow walls of this apartment, I hear the rain pitter-pattering it’s mournful dance to the chirpy melody of water sliding down the roof. I’m not feeling homesick, I’m just in my “thoughtful thinking” mode right now.
Hmmmm …. so besides photography, I like to write. My friend Miranda K. is one of my inspirations (you should definitely check out her AH-maaaaaaaaayzing blog, Stories by Miranda), alongside Emily Dickinson, Margaret Atwood, and Jane Austen to name a few. I don’t do it so well (as you can already tell, hahaha), but I just like the feeling of having all my thoughts on the page. I easily get frustrated when I’m in my “writing” mode and nothing comes to mind, so if you ever see me in a bad mood you can assume it’s because of that. But there’s this peaceful finality in having all the jumbled phrases and words in your mind tumble down like an avalanche onto the crisp snow-white veil that awaits on the table. One of the courses that I’m taking at school is College Writing with Mrs.Morey (and I love her, she’s one of my favorite teachers), and I think it’s because of that course that I’m developing this undiscovered interest in writing. Maybe it’s because of all those weekly journal entries or all those dratted papers, but I feel that with all the writing I’ve done in that class for the past four months, I’m gaining a deeper appreciation for the written word. My grammar, syntax, sentence structure, and other writing conventions aren’t spiffy-perfect, but having words flow across the page without interruption … it’s a powerful feeling. It brings to mind an image of someone holding their pen as a wand, wearing a cape and standing on top of the world’s highest mountains, with fireworks exploding in the background. I feel the constant question that writers battle with is “Why?”; as in, why is this meaningful to you? Why does this-and-this or so-and-so make you feel this way? There’s a plethora of questions waiting to be tackled. I don’t know, I guess the point I’m trying to come across is that writing seems to have taken a more personal level, and those feelings inside of me are new and a bit strange – kinda like I’m selling half my soul to a stranger.
I came across this ‘thing’ that I wrote a year ago, and I titled it “Failure To Notice”. I don’t remember why I wrote it, but here it is:
We pride ourselves on everything but our talents. Talents that others admire in us, talents that we look down upon when we are feeling insignificant. Beauty is attainable, but is that what sets you apart from everyone else? No, it isn’t. Giving credit to your appearance is worthwhile indeed, but your talents shape your personality and the way you view life. Through a telescope, the stars look closer to us than they will ever be. Jumping though the looking glass, the world shifts to an alternate reality. People can compliment you on anything and everything; but the one thing that will set them apart from others is recognizing your talents, and cheering you on as you fulfill your dreams. It isn’t easy being friends with people who seem to have a knack for everything: but hey, they have their faults too – they are not perfect human beings with an illusional reality beyond others reach. Deep down, they could even be admiring you, and the way you conduct yourselves around others. Friends come and go- in reality, some may use for a while then leave you behind when you’re not looking. So what? That’s their loss, not yours- you were being honest with them, and that’s a value worth keeping.
You’re a keeper, remember that.
I think it’s time for some pink hot chocolate.